


Not Canonized

by handschuhmaus



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Darth Plagueis - James Luceno
Genre: Also inspired by The Number Devil, Babysitting, Bedtime Stories, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Hego Damask is a weave structures geek, Mathematicians, Muun stories, Sith Shenanigans, Tales of virtue. Or not, Yes even at this age
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2018-07-25 08:10:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7525003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handschuhmaus/pseuds/handschuhmaus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tenebrous offers up some decidedly unorthodox "Sith" to his future apprentice as a bedtime story after hearing the sort of thing that passes for didactic fiction in the Damask house.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Dark Lord of the Dads](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7267960) by [the_little_bay_that_could](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_little_bay_that_could/pseuds/the_little_bay_that_could). 
  * Inspired by [Taxicab](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5573959) by [nimblermortal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nimblermortal/pseuds/nimblermortal). 



> Credit for some inspiration is owed to at least these two fics, one of which involved Luke interpreting "Darth" as a family signifier, and another of which also transplanted mathematicians to the GFFA... (Because that's what's coming up)

Tenebrous had had no intention of lingering on Mygeeto, but the abrupt changes of conditions the planet was known for had grounded his ship. With his determination not to expose his presence on the world remaining, he was obliged, then, to stay with the family he had stopped for dealings with, including the promising offspring of one of his acolytes.

He was questioning that plan and the sensibility of his impromptu hosts (apparently some residents of this planetary icebox regarded snow storms as sufficiently clement weather for attending parties) by the time he found himself seated with the family around a hearing grate and unable to avoid hearing the story mother was telling the child, however much he tried to focus on his datapad.

"--but do you think Darth Moonshadow could be stopped by the Jedi? Of course not! With a bounding leap he rounded the corner and somersaulted into the fight," she was saying.

"I wish you would stick to telling him the tales of Firigi the Magnificent. At least none of his stunts are imitatable," Caar Damask interjected, frowning lazily at his offspring.

"Do you really want our son to grow up to be an accountant?" the mother asked quietly, interrupting the tale. Tenebrous would probably have ruled his eyes, had Biths expressed emotion thusly, at this but settled for tapping his fingers irritably on a side table.

"It's a reasonably honorable profession," Damask sighed. "Besides, if you require your usual period to prepare you ought to start, or we will be late and that would be unfortunate."

Her expression faded but she acknowledged, "Yes, of course. Hego, you'll stay with Nu-Ma-Two."

"But she doesn't tell stories," the child complained softly.

"Look, I will tell you a story, if afterward you will go promptly to bed and not otherwise interrupt my nightly routine," the Bith grumbled.

"You will?" Hego asked in wonderment.

There was an air of finality in Tenebrous's "Yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Muun stories mentioned in this chapter might just have something or other to do with 
> 
> 1) El-Ahrairah, the prince with a thousand enemies of rabbit folklore in _Watership Down_ and 
> 
> 2) the observation that, in certain respects (of course not physically), Muuns are somewhat... congruent to Ferengi. ;)


	2. To (very very extremely titanic gargantuanly large numbers) and beyond! is how my favorite character puts it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Rugess Nome a mathematical historian (or a mathematician with an especial interest in history)? No, so don't expect his anecdotes to be especially accurate. More like spins on legends.

In anticipation of new stories from a guest(!), Hego acquiesced readily to NuMa2 (the proper writing of the nursery droid's designation, Rugess noted, and then went on to wonder at how ready much of the galaxy was to give charge of their children to droids) as he was subjected to bath and nightshirt.

Tenebrous thought for a few minutes about how to begin, and then, when the Muun had been properly restrained by sternly tucked sheets and was looking up at him in wonderment, started.

"Have you ever heard of Darth Krankenwagen?" he inquired solemnly, making up the "Sith" alias on the fly.

The child shook his head, wide-eyed.

"Well, then, I'm sure you don't know that this was a wealthy aristocrat much like you surely will be. However, according to his historical legacy, it seems he was not especially skilled in the use of the Force. To enable his continued practice--yes, they were not following the Rule of Two--he hired a couple of researchers, the full story of whom is one for another day, to educate him in Sith techniques."

He paused for a moment to let this sink in before Hego turned somewhat uncertain but still pleading eyes on him. 

"They made a sort of discovery, or perhaps invention if you will, about foreseeing what happens in the extremities of time. It was a formulaic technique involving looking at how clashing elements were changing, and this wealthy businessbeing was so glad to have it that he insisted on its inclusion in the book he made the two researchers write. From then on, the Rule, as you might call it, was known by his name, though his ordinary one rather than his Sith title. He had paid the researchers, but his was the glory."

The small Muun seemed to roll this around in his brain. "Do you have any other stories?"

"Many more," Tenebrous said with a predatory smile. Under his breath he composed an impromptu limerick: 

" ~~~~ _There was a professor Chanter_  
Who looked at numbers with candor  
in searching the dust  
He found that he must  
describe different realms with a letter"

"What?" Hego asked confusedly.

"Yes," the Sith said thoughtfully, although not entirely accurately. "Darth Chanter wanted to study the Force by looking at the patterns it leaves in the natural numbers1. So he set out to count them." 

"Why did he do that?" Probably Hego had spotted the flaw.

"He discovered that there are certain distinctions when one passes through counting and into descriptions of types of numbers; that things without bound are not always the same size, even if sometimes they are. He also discovered a way to have an infinite number of things and nothing at the same time. Which reminds me of another...

"The thinker Darth Twophds* did not want to believe in the infinite. If I want to cross the room, I have to first go half the distance to the wall, yes? (he said.) Then I still must go half the remaining distance once I have gotten to the halfway point, and it must take some amount of time to travel any distance, so, Hego, it must be impossible, even paradoxical, to get anywhere! Equally, what about a champion shockball player having a race with a slow-moving ysalamir? If you give the ysalamir a headstart, by the same difficulty, the athlete can never catch up."

The young Damask looked wide-eyed and slightly disconcerted by all this.

"So, yet another one who dared to look at the distant numbers, Darth Kimegite**, became obsessed with naming them all. He took number words from many a language, or even different ennumerated descriptors, and created a workable system. But even though he was able to describe them in a way, he was still thinking of numbers no one had a hope of understanding."

"How was that Sithly?" Hego inquired.

"Certainly he outpaced Jedi researchers who refused to open themselves to the full realm of potentialities," the architect pronounced glibly.

"...can I have a drink of water?"

* * *

1: Nome almost certainly does not literally mean the "Natural numbers" here. Probably he is thinking more of the reals, since certain irrationals occur geometrically, and, in a sort of vaguely Platonic worldview, could thus be considered natural in a certain sense.

*pronounced twoffs. ~~(2 PhDs = a pair of doctorates, or, perhaps, colloquially, a pair o' docs)~~

**[Karl Marx Gave The Proletariat Eleven Zepplins (Yo), thank you XKCD]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are the GFFA equivalents of these people ask actually Sith?! Nah, this is just a fiction Tenebrous is amusing himself with.
> 
> possibly, hopefully coming soon: better formatting??


End file.
